Pokemon XY Abridged
by The Fell Dragonite
Summary: The following is a nonprofit, fan based parody. Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and GAME FREAK. Please support the official release. Of the game. The anime can go fuck itself.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my attempt at humour in the form of X/Y. Enjoy.**

* * *

 **(Cue the morning theme)**

Ah. The warm, lovely rays of sunshine. The fresh feel of morning mist seeping through my window. What a great greeting by nature to start off the day. I think I will do a rousing routine of-

" **Fletchling!** ", the tiny robin Pokemon chirped, pecking me in the forehead painfully.

Or perhaps I'll kick off the day by killing a person.

"Mom! What the fuck?!", I yelled.

"Oh, good, you're awake, Calem!", she replied from downstairs. "I sent Fletchling up there to wake you up!"

"You know, Mom, there's something revolutionary, considered state of the art technology by some. IT'S CALLED AN ALARM CLOCK FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"

"I hope you're ready, we have some visitors coming soon, our neighbors are coming over!"

"So what?!", I shouted as I put on my clothes. "I don't care if they're the freaking Champion, I'm not changing gears for-"

"I believe one of them is a girl your age, named Serena."

I blinked. Finally, some booty. "Hold up, Mom, I got the door, give me a sec!" Thrusting on my clothes as fast as I could, I almost threw myself down the stairs, crashing into the wall at the bottom.

"Oh, well aren't you rested up from the move?"

"It would have been better if you hadn't sent that devil bir-"

"Why don't you go say hi to the neighbors?"

"What, no breakfast? Fine." I walk to the door and turn the knob, pulling it inward to open the door. I saw two white girls; a tall one with strawberry blonde hair in a ponytail, and a shorter brunette with really weird looking pigtails. Man, Kalos needs to up their game, but I'll take what I can get.

"Welcome to Vaniville Town!", the taller one said.

"Town?", I replied. "There are only, like, three houses!"

"My name's Serena, and this is Shauna.", the taller one said, gesturing to the girl beside her. But really, all I heard was "Wish #1 and Wish #2".

"It's nice to meet you!", Shauna said, bubbly as all living fuck. "Guess what! We've come to get you!"

"Oh, you're into that kinda thing? Damn, you're freaky."

"The esteemed Professor Sycamore lives here in Kalos.", Serena stated. "We were told that he has a request for five children, including the three of us."

"You don't say? It is literally the only reason I came to this region."

"But I'm kinda surprised he knew about you. You did just move to Vaniville, after all."

"Look me up on Facebook, it's not that hard."

Shauna jumped up and down in her spot. "We're going to meet up in the next town over! And we're going to get a Pokemon!", she squealed with delight. Goddamn it, I already can't stand and I only knew her for twenty seconds if that. Whatever.

Going through the gate of Vaniville...whatever the fuck it is, because it's not a town, I walked down a simple path in the woods to the next location over. Aquacorde, and the first thing to greet me was none other than Shauna and three of her friends, two of them I didn't know, both were guys. Damn it.

"Come quickly!", Shauna called.

"Care to take a minute to rephrase that?" By Shauna's insistence, I sat down at their table. Serena took the liberty of introducing me to the rest of the gang. "Everyone, this is Calem."

"Wow, Shauna described you to a T!", the big guy with what looked like a cap of hair on his head said.

"If she happened to use the words "ivory-toned god", then she was spot on.", I replied.

"That's Tierno.", Serena began. "He's got some great dance moves, but he's not really into the life of a trainer." She looked at the midget beside him. "And this is Trevor. Shy, but extremely smart."

"Hey. How's it going, Bobcut?"

"That reminds me, it'd feel like we're a closer crew if we made up nicknames for each other.", Tierno cut in.

"No it wouldn't.", I retorted. "In fact, it would make me want to choke you to death."

"Can I call you C-Meister?"

"No."

Shauna slammed her hands on the table. "Absolutely not!"

"Thank you, someone with sense."

"He's a Lil' C for sure!"

"...Did I say sense? No, more like idiotic, crack-fuelled dumbassery.", I deadpanned.

"Do you have an idea, Trevs?"

Trevor moved back in surprise. " I can't just nickname someone out of the blue! ...But if I had to, how about something low-key... Oh, maybe like Big C!"

"In what realm is THAT low-key?!"

"Why don't you decide yourself, Calem?", Serena suggested.

"Ooh, I have a great nickname! I shall be known henceforth as "Calem"!", I said, using my hands to gesture the name as if it were on a banner.

"But that's just your name.", Shauna said.

"And it's a great one too.", I stated proudly. "I'll probably come up with something. Sooner or later."

"Let's get out the Pokemon, Tierno!", Shauna said excitedly, or rather, her normally. Tierno put a case on the table, and in it were three Pokemon. Chespin, a Grass-type. Pretty bulky and strong physically, but lacking everywhere else. Fennekin, pretty fast and potentially powerful, but too vain for my taste, and that's saying something. Finally, there is Froakie, the ninja frog badass of Kalos. Fastest of the three, and can take down its other two counterparts in offence with its Special Attack.

Team Froakie all the way.

* * *

 **And so this story starts. It won't be updated regularly, as I have life and other bigger stories to attend to. Goodralisk out.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

In the last episode, we all chose our Pokémon, I chose Froakie, Shauna chose Fennekin, and Serena chose Chespin.

"Oh, she's so cute!", Shauna squealed once again, squeezing the life out of the poor fox. I would've tried prying her arms off of the Fire-type...if Fennekin didn't already blow a small burst of flame at Shauna, making her hair frizz into a ball.

Everyone held back their laughter. I didn't.

"Ahahaha!" I burst into tears laughing almost instantly at her new look, falling off of my chair.

"What's so funny?", Shauna asked, confused.

I pointed a finger at her. "Look at your hair! Talk about Disco Inferno! Ahaha!"

Shauna whipped out her mirror and gasped in horror. She pocketed the mirror and threw her arms down in frustration. "Calem, that's not funny!"

"It's fucking hilarious!", I spat out between laughs.

"We'll see how much you laugh when I beat you in battle with Fennekin!"

"Whoa, Shauna.", Tierno intervened. "Before that, at least wait until Calem can at least speak properly."

As I took the next ten minutes trying to compose myself, Shauna fixed her hair. "Anyways," Trevor began. "We each got a letter to give to our parents from the Professor. Here is yours, Calem." He handed me an envelope with the Kalos badge on it.

"And this as well. It's a Pokedex." Trevor handed me a red device that opened up when I pointed it at my Froakie. It read over its entry, something about a watchful eye and frubbles.

"Well, it's been nice, but I've got to go hand this off. Catch you guys later."

"Wait!" Shauna called. "You still have a battle with me! Did you really think you could get away?"

"Oh. You're still on that. Fine."

Shauna's Fennekin took its stance, ready to challenge my Froakie. "All right Fennekin! This is our first battle, so here we go! We'll let nothing stop us, and we'll-"

"And the winner is Calem!", Serena called. While Shauna was too busy talking, I had Froakie Water Gun the fox into submission.

"B….but...what…?"

"Next time, Bubbles, keep your guard up and don't spend the battle talking."

I turned my back to the almost crying girl. "I'm going to hand off that letter now. Be back in a little while."

 **Ten minutes later…..**

"So how'd it go?", Serena asked me.

"Uhh…"

 ** _Cut to outside of Calem's house, flashback_**

"Mom, calm down! Stop throwing shit!"

"Why are you leaving me?! You're all I have since your father left! Why do you have to go?!", she screamed hysterically. Another pan left her hand, breaking a vase.

"I swear, I'm going to tear off that professor's balls and feed them to him! Teach him to take my son!"

 _ **Present**_

"Relatively well.", I replied.

"Well, let's get going then!", Shauna shouted.

We marched on out of Aquacorde and we met a field of grass right in front of the Santalune Forest. Somehow, the big guy and the ginger disappeared, leaving me with the two girls, making me contemplate whether or not I was blessed or cursed.

"Okay, now since you guys are new with this, I'll show you how to capture a Pokémon."

"No need for me. I already caught a second Pokémon.", I told Serena, showing my Fletchling I caught within the few minutes we were there.

"B...but-"

"So long. Into the forest!", I exclaimed, ignoring the strawberry blonde.

I walked towards the forest entrance before stopping, looking at a boy in a vest and shorts, not in the eye, however. I walk up to his side and notice his posture. Ramrod straight, looking straight forward across the path.

"What the hell?" I poked his face a few times, nothing. I slapped him hard, still nothing. Scratching my head, I got an idea. I backed up for a proper start before running at him. "Watch out, watch out, watch out!", I called before performing an RKO on the kid.

"RKO! RK-" I look back and I see the kid's feet planted firmly on the ground, despite the rest of him being on the ground. "Oh, come on!" We both get up. Back to where we started, I saw his eyes following me. I slowly moved in front of him until he finally jolted, an exclamation mark flashing above her head.

"You walked in front of me! Let's battle!", he said loudly. Everything goes black tile by tile until a battle scene shows, with him and me.

"No!" I cut the battle short. "I don't want to fight any of you weaklings."

"Look, man, I've waited for three months for someone to walk past me. Do NOT take this moment from me!"

I sighed. "Fffffffffffffffffffffffine. Whatever."

"Let's battle!"

 **Okay, tell me what you think of this. Any constructive criticism helps. Goodralisk out**.


	3. Chapter 3

**Read summary. Warning: bad words. Turn back if you don't like them.**

* * *

"You never told me you were that strong!", Youngster Austin exclaimed, after his Pokémon got curbstomped by my Fletchling. Or more specifically, pecked into unconsciousness.

"I also never told you that your mother hates you so she gave you only a Zigzagoon. But, who am I to judge, right?"

He sniffled with a tear. "She… she does?"

"Yup. Anyway, see ya, kid. Thanks for the cash, though.", I said as I made my way into the woods.

"Santalune Forest.", I sighed, cracking my knuckles and stretching out my back. "I swear if Joey is in here, I might as well take up the trade of an exterminator." I surveyed the area. "These tiny woods have so many winding areas, almost like a mysterious dungeon. Ah, maybe not."

"Calem!"

"This better not be a hot mess.", I mumbled before turning around to meet Shauna's gaze. "Great, it's just a mess."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. Can I help you?"

"Come on, we should walk together!", she said. "As friends!"

"That's putting it generously."

She pouted, then gave a smirk. "Calem, don't be like that. If you let me tag along, I'll heal your Pokémon!"

"I'll be fine. Example: Froakie, go!", I shouted, throwing out my Froakie, facing off against a Scatterbug. I commanded him to use Bubble, hitting the Bug Pokémon before it paralyzed my Froakie, making it prey to the wild bug's near nonexistent Tackle, hit after hit.

"You were saying?"

"Don't be fooled, Shauna.", I chuckled matter-of-factly. "The Pokémon before me is nothing but a simple meager obstacle in my way for me to blow up in the world of OH FOR GOD SAKE, FROAKIE! THROW A FUCKING PUNCH!"

The frog croaked before hitting it with a Pound, knocking out the Scatterbug. Unfortunately, I had no Paralyze Heal on me, so before I returned Froakie, she dropped a Full Restore on my Pokémon. "Don't you need badges to get one of those?"

"You're talking, but I don't hear a thank you.", Shauna sing-songed.

"Doesn't mean I don't appreciate it."

She shrugged. "Close enough." We continued on through the woods, beating Bug types left and right preparing for the first gym, until we finally made it to the exit of Santalune Forest.

"Oh." Serena, not even ten steps behind me, called up to me. "You made it here first. Looks like the new guy has a lot of potential."

"...because I walked through a forest? Any half-sober drunk with a walking stick can accomplish that."

Before Serena could retort, Tierno and Trevor joined the group, all of the five in attendance. "Great, we're all here! Let's take our first steps toget-"

"Smell ya later!" I took off in a near sprint and left the forest, hearing some slightly annoying, yet oddly catchy 8 bit music.

Santalune City. The first city in my journey with a Gym in it. There was so much to do, like raid the boutique for an outfit better than the hand-me-downs from my cousin, or rack up some notches on the treasure hunting belt and raid the houses of the willing, and/or ultimately, take down the local Gym for my first badge.

I beelined it for the Pokémon Center and healed up my two Pokémon, left the joint, and before I could head to the gym, the remaining four end up in my path.

"Why do you keep ditching us, Calem?", Shauna asked. "We'd be stronger as a team than alone."

"Ugh, you sound like a bad anime. Perhaps Sword Art Online.", I groaned, rolling out my shoulder. "The power of friendship-as far as two humans go-is bullshit. And frankly, you just annoy me. I didn't come on this journey simply for funsies. So, if you don't mind, I'm off to get my first badge."

I turned on my heel partially before I stopped and gave a look to Serena. "But if you want to join me, just hit me up, you know to find me." With two clicks of my tongue, I made my way down town, walking fast to the Santalune Gym. I didn't even get to the door before some weird chick in a with a yellow helmet skated in circles around me.

"Hey, would you like a pair of these super-cool, super-rad roller blades? They're the best thing ever!", she said as she came to a stop.

"No thanks. I'm a skater guy myself."

"They easily clip on, so you never have to change in between shoes and roller blades!"

"I said, I am fine. Thanks, but I'm not taking them!"

"They're also free of charge!"

"English, motherfucker, do you speak it-Wait, did you say free?"

"That's right! Completely free of charge!"

"Well…"

* * *

"Whoo-hoo, this is freaking awesome!", I cried out as I was doing a whole slew of tricks, such as spinning on a dime, swiveling and even rail grinding all throughout the town.

"Not for funsies my ass.", Both Tierno and Serena said.

 **Chapter 3. Don't expect much from this, but I hope it gets better. Goodralisk out.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Read summary.**

* * *

I had my fun with the roller blades going through the city until I realized that I had to fight the Gym Leader. My second thought after was "oh shit, window".

After testing out someone's window insurance, I entered the Santalune City gym.

"Hey, Champ in the making!" The man in front of the Gym statue fixed his bow tie. "How's it going? My name is Pierre Dupont Jacques de Croix."

"...how bout I call you Clyde?"

"This is the Santalune Gym! As you may have noticed, this is a Bug type Gym!"

"Well, it's not like the giant freaking spider silk web strand gave it away."

"Point taken," Clyde laughed. "Take it down and your journey through the Santalune City Gym will be underway!"

I jumped down the hole into the gym, landing on a giant spider web.

"How in the hell… okay, okay, fine." I made my way through the web puzzle to fight Viola, but I had to fight these trainers first. The first two were nothing but fodder, but at least my Froakie learned Water Pulse. And both of them were closing in on energy levels high enough to evolve soon.

"Tee hee! Such weak prey! Looks like you've been caught in my Spider Web!"

"Who're you exactly?"

"My name is Charlotte."

"I-wait, really?"

"Yup!"

I facepalmed. Literally facepalmed. "...you can not be serious."

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind. Let's just go already."

With haste, Charlotte threw out her Kakuna, while I sent out Fletchling. "Captain Falcon! Peck!" Fletchling poked the stagnant Bug type with its beak, damaging it severely. Upon its Trainer's command, it proceeded to Harden itself, much like I do when looking at Playboy Lopunnies.

"Peck!" And down goes Kakuna, the knocked out cocoon Pokemon replaced with Spewpa. I returned Fletching and went with a specially offensive approach in my Froakie, the tiny robin was my win condition for the main event and I hadn't exactly procured any full out healing items, my only two Potions being saved for before and during the Leader fight.

"Gamakichi, Water Pulse!" One hit KO on her Spewpa. "Now, before I challenge your Leader, are there any Peters in here to match you?"

"Peters?" she asked in confusion. "What for?"

"...I am surrounded by idiots."

I make my final steps up to Viola, the final challenge in this second-rate city. She had a camera hanging from her neck, telling me she was a photographer right away.

"Ah, Viola. The second strongest trainer in this city. Well, until I leave of course."

"Jeez, the ego on you," Viola giggled. "Despite that, you seem pretty strong. You made your way through the Gym pretty quickly and dispatched all of my Trainers."

"Yeah, speaking of said Gym…" I gestured all around me. "Why a giant-"

"Ugh, don't get me started. It was all Charlotte's idea. I told her it looked stupid, but nooooooo! She thought it was the GREATEST FREAKING IDEA IN THE GODDAMN WORLD!"

"Should have been an ant's nest if you ask me."

"Thank you!" she exclaimed. "It would have been leagues cooler! I mean… a web based gym was not worth it when the SOLE reason for it… was a hidden joke that half the challengers that come don't catch."

"Yeah," I said. "Most people like to skip through all the dialogue and pleasantries and get right to fighting."

"Speaking of which, I suppose you are here to challenge me for the Bug Badge."

"Correct," I answered, holding out my Poké Ball. "And I intend to get it."

"Let's see if you can pull it off. Go Surskit!" Out of Viola's Poké Ball came a water strider with four thin legs. The Pokédex told me it was Bug/Water type.

"Interesting." I tossed out my Fletchling. "Use Peck!" A jab with a beak damaged Surskit severely, knocking it out promptly.

"Okay, you seem to know what you're doing. How will you fare against my next one? Go, Vivillon!" Viola threw out whatever passed for Butterfree in these parts, though it was far more extravagant.

My Pokédex buzzed and scanned the butterfly. " _Pokédex Entry No. 666. Vivillon, the final evolution of Scatterbug and Spewpa. Bug/Dark type. Its pattern mimic the souls of the victims it has devoured. It scatters colourful scales that combust and explode on contact."_

"What kind of entry is this bullshit?"

"Glad you asked!" Viola's grin got dark. "Vivillon, you know what to do."

Vivillon's cute appearance was replaced with such a horrifying sight, matched by only Satan himself, which left my Fletchling shaking and shuddering in pure fear.

"GOOD LORD, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" I picked up my immobile Flying type and cradled it in my arms. "YOU SICK BASTARD! WHAT KIND OF BUTTERFLY HAS **FANGS**?!"

"This one does," Viola giggled. "Your move."

"Fine," I grumbled. "Gamakichi!"

Out of the ball came Gamakichi. "Frooooo!"

I gestured him up onto my shoulder whispering something to him quiet enough so Viola couldn't hear me. After that, I got a confident croak from him before he jumped into the air.

"Checkmate, boy!" Vivillon did the same thing it did to my Fletchling while Gamakichi kept blasting bubbles. Though, unlike the bird, Gamakichi was unaffected. "What?! Impossible!"

"Not if you can't see the face of fear!" With all of the bubbles around, it was impossible for Vivillon to catch my Froakie's eyes. "Gama, more bubbles!"

Vivillon dodged them all on Viola's command, pushing her to taunt me. "Are you even trying to land a hit?"

"No!"

"The hell do you mean-" She looked around her now trapped Vivillon, surrounded by bubbles. "Oh. Ohhhhhh…"

"Checkmate, Gym Leader. Gamakichi, Now!" The bubbles all closed in on Vivillon, bombarding it for a full 21 seconds before it ended. Vivillon collapsed to the ground, unable to battle.

"Unbelievable," Viola said. "You've beaten the Santalune Gym…"

"I believe you have something that belongs to me."

"Yeah, yeah, here you go." She reached into her bag and gave me what I won. The Bug Badge.

"Thank you for this challenge," I said. "Now, if only this Gym could get a redesign…"

* * *

 **Chapter 4 End. Read, review, follow, all that good shit. Goodralisk out.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I apologize for being off the grid on this story. Just trying to organize my thoughts for this story. Anyway…**

* * *

After healing up my team and a therapy session for Fletchling, my team was finally ready to move on to other things and continue our journey. Or at least we would have, but I was stopped by a hot brunette.

"Oh… You are, aren't you?"

"I swear, it wasn't me in that video, it was my mother! She just had my haircut!"

"O-kay…" she drawled. "I was going to ask if you were one of Sycamore's kids."

"I am," I replied. "Arguably the best. Just got the Bug Badge, first of my team."

"Oh, you must have beaten my younger sister then!" she gasped. "My name's Alexa."

"Calem," I said before I shook her hand. "So what's up?"

"Nothing much. I'm just glad to see such a strong trainer!" she grinned. "Here's something to celebrate your badge!"

She holds out a metal item with weird yellow balls on it before giving it to me. "This allows you to train your team without all the tedious grinding."

"Sweet. Uh, Alexa?" The brunette raised her head. "Out of curiosity… how old is Viola?"

"20."

"Damn it." I head out of Santalune City and move on to the next place, but not before I was stopped by a young woman.

"I love my Pokémon!" Poké Fan Agnes shouts. "I love my Pokémon!"

I let Captain Falcon out of his ball. "Well, I'm sure anyone would love their Pokémon as long as it's not-"

"Go, Burmy(Plant Cloak)!" Agnes says as she launches a ball housing the bagworm Pokémon.

"Of course," I sighed. "Just gotta convince yourself, huh? I get it. Anyway, uh, use Peck."

The tiny robin hit the Bug/Grass Type with its beak, the victim barely standing after that attack. Until Agnes decided to heal it back to full with a Super Potion.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?!" I exclaimed.

"I'm just using a Potion on my-"

"No! You broke the Trainer code! You either have to be a Gym Leader, Elite Four, Champion, or the protag to use Potions in battle!" I returned Captain Falcon to his ball before leaving.

"But I- where are you-"

"Nope, it's a break in the rules...!"

After that complete foolishness, I explore the flowers nearby cause it's said that a Fairy-type exists in the area. The rumours were true as I came across Flabébé, one of the premier Fairy-types of the region.

"Alright then," I said as I took out my Froakie's Pokéball. "Gamakichi, that's all you! Use Lick!"

With its long tongue, Froakie licked the Fairy-type, leaving it shivering and unable to move, perfect for my next move. I threw a Poké Ball at Flabébé and without any trouble, it was sealed.

"Nice, caught me a-" A sudden blue glow interrupted me, as well as my Fletchling's Poké Ball shaking before releasing the little bird. The light came from my Froakie and my Fletchling. I saw my Froakie's form change; it's body grew taller, its limbs became longer, its natural colour darker, and it had a scarf of frubbles.

Fletchling, on the other hand, grew much bigger, but instead of hopping on the ground, it now continuously flew in the air. Its beak grew sharper and its feathers were more wild.

"Frooooogadier!/Fletchinderrrrr!" they cried respectively.

"Gamakichi… Captain Falcon… you… THAT'S FREAKING AWESOME!" I turned towards the Flabébé I now had. "We have some training to do!"

I pulled out my Holo Caster and put on Rocky Balboa to get the feel of a training montage. Destroying Trainers one Fairy Wind at a time, my Flabébé was now ready to join the ranks of my team. Not on par with the other two, but she could hold her own.

"Hello there!" a blond man called. I turned around to see no one behind me before facing him again.

"Yes, you!" he responded. "Have you heard of a Pokémon named Flabébé?"

"No, I'm just training something that looks exactly like one."

"Sarcasm is unbecoming of you."

I shook my head. "Nah, that sounds about right. Go check the first chapter, sixth paragraph, I believe. Sarcasm is my bread and butter."

"Anyway…" the dark skinned brunette coughed. "Flabébé is a Fairy-type, as I'm sure you already know. Classified recently, this new type changed the entire matchup! Dragons no longer hold supreme."

"Dammit, no Hydreigon for me then," I sighed. "But I still have a question."

The two tilted their head. "Who the fuck are you two?"

With a spin, the girl began. "My name's Sina! A beautiful name for a beautiful lady!"

"How old are you?"

"17."

'Nice,' I said internally. "And you are…?"

"My name is Dexio," the male answered. "Two years ago, the professor gave us Pokédexes as well."

"Were they empty?" I asked.

"You too?" they asked me simultaneously.

"Yup."

"I see... I knew he shouldn't have handed them out drunk again," Sina sighed. "Anyway, if you'd like to come to the lab, you can come with us."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Let's be real, I don't have much of a choice, do I? Fine."

"Off we go, to the Professor's lab!"

"Please don't tell me he's a wino."

* * *

 **Chapter 5 is complete. Again, sorry for the hiatus, but I'll try to update this more. Also, my pen name is the Fell Dragonite so FD out.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AZ: It's been over 3,000 years…**

 **Fell Dragonite: No, no it hasn't. ...in fact, it hasn't even been one year. Or even six months. But I get what you're driving at.**

 **Disclaimer: read description.**

* * *

"So," Dexio began as we stood in the gateway. "How are you and your Flabébé getting along?"

"I dunno, as well as any _wild_ Pokémon and human get along with one another," I replied dryly. "Considering I caught her not even five minutes ago."

"Ahem, well." The blonde rummaged through his pocket before presenting me a gray disk that displayed the text "TM 27: Return". "This is the Technical Machine for the move Return. Long winded explanation short, it becomes more powerful the deeper your bond is with your Pokémon."

"Sweet."

"Let's go, through the gates to Lumiose!" Sina sang, nearly pulling both me and Dexio onwards.

Once we got through, my jaw fell to the ground in awe. I never thought one single thing could hold such beauty, although my Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtles collection would always hold a close second. A little circular for my tastes, this city had a lot of potential for some crazy antics.

Who else was going to find out but me?

"Follow Sina on to the lab," Dexio said, ripping me from my own thoughts. I followed his pointed finger to see the dark-haired female walking in a western direction. "There you wi-"

"Laaaaaame!" Without hesitance, I made a beeline for the biggest attraction in this city: Lumiose Tower. Such a shining beacon of power in the central capital of Kalos, what a wonder this is. I couldn't wait to get a picture to send back home to Mom.

That is until a greasy, fat man with a hard hat stopped me from moving forward.

"What the hell?" I protested.

"Sorry, there's a power outage," he replied. "You can't go any further until it's fixed."

Naturally, that would have subdued my ire, as nothing was really lit past the point I was at. It would only rebound tenfold once I saw some random lady walk RIGHT PAST HIM without quarrel.

"So where the fuck is that lady going then?" I growled.

"I don't see any lady," he responded with a dead-locked look. Gods, it was like he had tunnel vision.

Another person walked by. "There it is again! You just let another person stroll by, but you're stopping me!"

"Kid, I have no clue what you're on about."

I felt my eyebrow twitch as the corners of my mouth cracked a sinister smile. "You know what…?"

* * *

 **Meanwhile...**

Sina placed a hand on her face. "Dex, I already told you, I will not do butt stuff."

Luckily for all of us, I ran to meet the two in front of the professor's lab. "Hey, buddies, how's it going?" I panted heavily between sentences. "Say, why don't we meet that good ol' prof now? Cause I think I'm done exploring."

A voice in the distance yelled, "Get back here, kid! You'll pay for this! Ow, my balls…"

"Hahaha, INTO THE LAB!" I laughed nervously before pushing past the two. If I were any faster, I would have missed Sina tell me that he was on the third floor. And after a soothing, yet brief elevator ride, I made it to the third floor, casually strolling out into what I could assume was the professor's personal quarters.

I saw a man with a wild pompadour of black wearing a blue collared shirt underneath a white lab coat. This I assumed was the one and only Professor Sycamore.

"So we finally meet!" he says in a husky voice. And with his first words to me, I heard an oddly iconic Kalosian musical score playing. No idea where it came, as there were no speakers around when I looked around the room.

"What is playing right now? And where can I download it?"

" _Fantastique_! You're here," he exclaimed. "Come here, won't you?"

And try as I might not to, my body just willed itself over to where he was. He… he was just so… so charming… and charismatic… Oh, Arceus above, am I gay? Please tell me I'm not! Arceus damn it, what's going on?!

"Many thanks for coming all the way from Vaniville Town!" the prof began. "I am Professor Sycamore. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. How are your travels going?"

"Um… good," I replied, trying to keep the awkwardness out of my voice. "I do wonder, however: why were my friends and I given an empty Pokédex?"

"Aye, so I see you've been filling the pages," he responded as he looked at my device, completely ignoring my previous question. "It's looking good!"

His eyes landed on me. "Well now, you certainly have a certain _je ne sais quoi_! I have a good feeling about you!"

I laughed nervously. "Whatever that feeling is, please keep it PG."

"Hello, Professor, it's Serena." Oh, thank Arceus.

"Hey, Professor! It's Shauna~!"

Oh, dear Arceus.

" _Bon_!" he exclaimed as the two girls showed up. "Now then, let us have a Pokémon battle!"

"Wait…" I looked from left to right. "You and I?"

"Indeed," Sycamore nodded, holding a Poké Ball. "Now then, go Bulbasaur!"

"Fair. Captain, you're up!" I sent out my Fletchinder, who tweeted out a menacing battle cry. Well, as menacing a cry as a bird can make.

The Bulbasaur was frightened as the Captain flew around and about before diving in for a critical hit Peck. The quadruped fainted right away.

"You've trained your Pokémon well, I will admit," he said. "Alas, I am soundly defeated."

"Wait, that was it?" I barked. That was quick. Shauna could take a few pointers about getting straight to the point like that.

"I have decided! You are a trainer like no other! It would be fantastic if you had another companion!" he announced as he pulled out a case holding three Pokéballs. "Here, take one! Each hold one of the three Kanto starters: Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle."

After some quick deliberation, I pointed at the one on the left. I already had a Fire and a Water-type, so… "Bulbasaur. I'll give her a name later."

"Wonderful!" Finally, after the girls chose their Pokémon, Tierno and Armin arrived. Not too keen on having to be stuck in this meeting, I try to make for my exit.

"Oh, would you look at the time!" I looked at my Holo Caster in a fake surprise. "I think I forgot my mother's Pokémon Egg at one of the cafés, and it's super allergic to fire, so I really have-"

"Nonsense!" Sycamore interrupted. "I'm sure you don't want to miss out on this little tidbit, it will most definitely intrigue you. It's called Mega Evolution."

"Mega Evolution, huh?"

* * *

 **Damn, it's been a while. I wasn't too happy with this chapter, but I needed to get back into my mojo. Next one will be better. FD out.**


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